The Ballad of Love and Hate

6 Dec

There is a song that my neighbor played me. She is 10 years old. The song is about Love and Hate. Love goes away on a vacation. She writes home to Hate that she is coming home soon, and Hate throws the letter away. Everywhere Love goes, people admire how kind she is. When Love arrives home, she waits up about all night for Hate. Hate stumbles in drunk and slurs a half hearted apology, which Love accepts, telling him that she is his. Forever.

My neighbor explains to me how love works. She says that they have problems, but they will work them out. To her, this story is cute. But 10 years old is not so young. She is old enough to have seen stories like this go horribly wrong. She is old enough to have seen Love turn to Hate, and old enough to have seen Hate and Hate scream at each other until both of them are crying. But she believes that it doesn’t have to be this way. If given the chance, she could be Love. And she would tell Hate that it was all okay, and there would be forgiveness. She would continue to learn, continue to grown, and continue to let Hate hurt her. Forever.

When I was 10 years old, I too was this girl. I thought that with me, it would be different. A year ago even, I was this girl. But I have been Love. I have poured my heart into people who never really understood. I have pretended to not mind when their apathy leaked in. When they got bored, and invented excuses to end the conversation. I have told people that I love them, and felt only pain in my chest when they said it back. I have panicked as I felt my heart slipping further and further away, wanting to stay with a person who didn’t really have any clue what to do with it.

I wonder, now, if this is really what love means. And if it is, then why do people speak of it so highly? Because as far as I can tell, it mostly hurts. At least for Love it mostly hurts. But I guess it wouldn’t hurt if Love found Love. Although Love is rather hard to find. But I hope she finds Love, one day. Because she deserves that. And so do I. Forever.

 

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