A Few Problems

10 Jan

Lately, I have been having a few problems.

First off, I am a bit dissatisfied with the English greetings and whatever it is they call the opposite of a greeting when somebody leaves. Hello and goodbye do not mean anything, and I find that sort of disturbing. ‘Good day’ might be a nice alternative, except that I have no way of knowing whether the person is coming or going. Out of context. So I had this idea, and I’m thinking we should all start using ‘ig-yip’ and ‘il-yip’, for I Greet You In Peace, and I Leave You In Peace. Keh? Moving  on.

I do not like apostrophe ses (<–that’s the plural of s), due to, rules.  I also do not like  plurals, as there are a lot of word that end in s and that gets annoying, due to you need to add multiple letters to make it plural. It seems clear that that is not the concisest way. I say concisest as it is more concise than most concise. So anyways, I say we just change all of these things to z instead. There are lots of fun perks of z. It’s a fun letter, which we know because itz in fun wordz, like ‘zebra’ and ‘Zamboni’. I’ve never ridden a Zamboni, but I want to very much some day. If you’re worried about wordz which end with z, don’t. You can just add another z. Like for instance, if you have one jazz, and then you get another jazz, then you have jazzz.

Lastly, I want to know why it is so dang hard to find terrible writing. Every time I go to freshly pressed, I hope to find  notes on average peoplez laundry, which has recently been freshly pressed, but all I find is essayz by  people who should be writing for a career. I have to harass my friendz to write for me. (They do write nice stuff, though : ). Oh snap. That just doubled as a smiley and a close parenthesis. I have skill. That’s one of the many reasonz why you should listen to me.

Keh. Il-yip.


2 Responses to “A Few Problems”

  1. The Other Category January 10, 2013 at 1:41 am #

    I was all for the ‘make wordz plural with Z’ idea until I thought of pizza. I mean if you tell people you are getting some pizzaz, that’s a whole different word, right? They’ll get the wrong idea. I think this thought needs work, but with some thought we can definitely fix this pizzaz issue. great post 🙂

    • notesonlifefrommyplasticturtlehankandi January 10, 2013 at 2:57 am #

      Oh crap. I actually can’t think of anything. I mean… context… but… what if you’re texting someone and they say “you have a lot of pizzaz”. I think that could be bad, you know? Because if I had pizzas I would want to know about it.

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