I’m Proud Of Myself

17 Dec

When I really think about it, I’m proud of myself for a lot of reasons.

I’m proud of myself for learning how to do my best. I’ve figured out how to have a positive attitude most of the time. I’ve decided that I will do the best that I can, and that will be good enough for me. I make myself get the heck off Thought Catalog more often, and sit down with my homework, and do what I can. Other times, I take a break. I’m finding balance.

I’m proud of myself for the little things. I plug-in my phone and computer before I go to bed most nights. I clean my room more often, remembering to wipe down the hard surfaces. I unliked all the books that I don’t really like (but that made me look smart) on Facebook, because I want to be honest. I read the books I like. I try to send people thank-you notes within a month of receiving gifts. Little things, but good things.

I’m proud of myself for learning how to love people in a less selfish way. I’m still working on this of course, but I’ve noticed that I can say to myself “this is difficult for me, but it is what is best for them, and I love them, so this is what I’m going to do.” I’m learning when to hold people close, and when to let them go. I’m not a saint, but I want the people I love to be happy. I’m learning, and I’m proud of that.

I’m proud that I’m learning to be nicer to people who I don’t like too. I’m slowly developing my own philosophy on life; one where I do what I can to make the world a better place. It’s hard, and I need work on this still, but I’m trying.

Maybe most of all, I’m proud of myself for caring, and for trying. It’s not easy to put everything you have into something, just to be told “Nope. You’re not good enough.” It’s not easy to really like someone just to  have them say “Well, sorry, but I don’t feel the same way”, or worse, say nothing at all. It hurts, and despite the hurt, you learn to either keep trying, or let it go. I’m learning both; when to let go, and when to try. And I’m proud of that.

I’m not writing this to say “Oh, hey, look at me, I’m really great”. I’m writing this to say that chances are, I’m proud of you too. I don’t know about every person on the internet. I don’t know your life. But I do know this; I watch my friends learning and growing every day. I watch them try, and care, and I watch them hurt. You can’t even begin to understand how proud I am of them. This is to say that for them, us, and for everyone out there who is trying in the very best way they know how, I’m proud. Because we’re doing alright.

We’re doing alright.

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5 Responses to “I’m Proud Of Myself”

  1. freddymylove December 18, 2012 at 2:31 am #

    I’m proud of you too.

  2. Karin Elaine December 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

    Ok, so when I read, “Chances are..” I literally read it as chanches are. And I didn’t mean to at all, but it happened. I got really lost at that point, and had to re-read it a few times, but honestly, Chanche. I love this. It’s touching and encouraging! Thanks 😀

  3. djmatticus December 18, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

    Well said. Thank you for the encouraging words. You have good reason to be feeling proud. You are doing alright!

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