The Magic Of Blogging

30 Nov

Earlier this week, my lovely friend and fellow chanche Karin started a blog. This is delightful of course, ’cause we’re expanding the blog community and enhancing chanchery and all that. Plus, (and maybe even more importantly) Karin discovered something on her first day of blogging that none of the rest of us have figured out in months. Blogging can get you stuff!

In her post about how she would want a guy to ask her to cotillon, she talked about how she would love it if a person were to ask her with giraffe patterned flowers. Then, BUT ONE DAY LATER, a giraffe patterned flower appears for her in home room. Coincidence? I think not.

At this point, I realized that all you gentlemen readers who know me (ha.ha.) are probably wishing to also buy me all sorts of things, and you are just thinking to yourself “I would like to buy lots of nice things for Shannon, and I have a completely unlimited budget, but I do not know what sorts of things she would like to receive.”

Well fear not kinds sirs (and also people who I am friends with who are females), for I am here to solve this little problem for you immediately! Helping people is in fact one of the many benefits of my having a blog. Here are some ideas to get you started presently:

1.) Gold Bars– You will probably never see me rejecting your gift of 1000 grams of pure gold pressed into a neat prismic shape. You might worry that this gift is too impersonal, but that’s not true! I will accept this gift (and/or go to cotillion with you), because it is in fact very personal in that I now won’t have to worry about paying for college or grad school. That means that I can study all the things  that my personality dictates without going into debt. See? Super personal.

2.) Guacamole– I will accept any and all offering of fresh, unpoisoned guacamole. You can of course bring this guacamole to my home room, where I will try to stuff as much in my mouth as possible before it is confiscated. Preferably, you can give it to me after school, and then, after I finish eating it all, you can ask me to cotillion. I will agree to go to cotillion with you, but only if promised more guacamole.

3.) A New iPod– Plan early if you want to go with this option, because when you go to pick out an iPod for me at the Apple Store, it will not be there, so you have to order it ahead of time. I would like the iPod Classic with 160 GB. You may be tempted to buy lots of iTunes gift cards for fear that the iPod is not enough. That is acceptable. Perhaps you will consider writing COTILLION? or HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNON! in iTunes gift cards. This is in fact a good idea. Do this.

4.) Butter Dancing- I think this may be my favorite. Just go out to the store and buy lots and lots of sticks of butter, and then bring them all to the office lobby and write out COTILLION? or another appropriate text, in butter. Have the office ladies call me down to the office. When I get there, proceed to sing “Someone Like You” by Adele and dance on the butter until Ms. Hudson suspends you or calls the police/your parents. Plan this early so that your punishment has ended by the time cotillion or other applicable event actually rolls around.

It seems so obvious to me now that the reason why nobody has been asking me to dances is because they JUST AREN’T SURE HOW. I’m glad we cleared up this problem, potential dates. And you know… you coulda just asked.

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One Response to “The Magic Of Blogging”

  1. Karin Elaine December 1, 2012 at 2:30 am #

    OMG THIS MADE MY DAYYYYYYYY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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