8 Excerpts From Old Emails

21 Nov

The following are excerpts from old emails which I received. They are in chronological order. They are from all different people, but mostly from my friends. I apologize to any and all of the people who did not want parts of their emails to me to be published. I’m sorry… but you know, there has to be some reason why I’ve saved these things for years.

Here we go……

1. “Spellwell.com is not a website. We could buy it and make it a “how to spell” learning experience!!!”

2. “Whooppii, I’m alive, you’re alive, aren’t we lucky!!!!!!!!???”

3. “And even as I write that sentence, I feel the irony of life creeping in on me, like the crawling chaos. I ramble.”

4. “I can’t eat eggs now because (this will get kind of graphic), yesterday I was eating a hardboiled egg and i was like “Hey. I am eating an unborn baby that I boiled in water.” So I can’t eat eggs anymore. And when I think about, it is really pretty wrong. I mean, would you want someone to eat your babies?”

5. “The only time we have scheduled and mandatory family visits is on Christmas and Christmas Eve, if you count getting Chinese food with your Grandmother a family visit.”

6. “A closet inside a closet? That is beyond excellency, because if the zombies/police/Gauls ever come for you, then you can lock your door, then your closet then the final stronghold of the inner sanctum of your closet. You should stock some shotguns/legal documents/Gladii inside there.”

7. “Do you think he’s mad at me? he probably thinks I’m fat. I think that if you ever have a long day to kill you should go and you should lay on a board in the middle of a pond so you float all around and then you can catch fish nibbling at your toes and maybe you’ll meet a mermaid. I want to meet a mermaid. But not a mermaid like in that Jack Pirate movie because they will eat me up and leave my bones to white in the sun.”

8. “I really don’t know what to write you because you already know everything. I guess i could tell you about my morning on Sims. Well, I came across a nice family on Sims that was really weird so i adopted them. They are three brothers that live alone and one of them was alien pregnant. After i started playing, one of them got abducted by aliens and got pregnant. They live in a pretty cool house.”

Join us next time for “Excerpts From Old Facebook Messages”.


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